Monday, December 6, 2010

#reverb10- Starting now

I'm in for #reverb 10, but will be writing snippets just to catch up. I, too, need a practice i can learn to maintain. I hope this will be a good start.

December 1 – One Word. Encapsulate the year 2010 in one word. Explain why you’re choosing that word. Now, imagine it’s one year from today, what would you like the word to be that captures 2011 for you?
My word to describe this waning year is breathless. A lot of things caught me off guard this year and took my breath away, not in the romantic sense, but in the punched-in-the-gut sense. Early in January our brand new puppy, purchased as we moved through the grief of our old dog's sad death from cancer, was diagnosed with a heart murmur at 10 weeks. Heart surgery and recovery seemed to envelop last winter, and we have a healthy year old golden retriever to show for it all. It was an expensive deal, but totally worth it. The autumn of the year brought frightening and still unbloggable family events that continue to leave me breathless with fear and worry. A hard recovery from what I thought would be minor surgery added more tiredness and the sense of being unable to catch my emotional breath encompassed the last of November, along with a skin cancer diagnosis that I truly did not see coming.
T. S. Eliot wrote of the center not holding. Without being able to catch my breath, my center has felt oxygen deprived. I hope that 2011 holds great hope and the sense of being surprised by joy and breathless with wonder.

December 2 – Writing. What do you do each day that doesn’t contribute to your writing — and can you eliminate it?
I don't consider myself to be a very good writer. I don't know what it would take to silence that critic.

December 3 – Moment. Pick one moment during which you felt most alive this year. Describe it in vivid detail (texture, smells, voices, noises, colors).
I drove from Chicago to Bethesda, Maryland to surprise FBC at her final college choir concert. Seeing her face as I sat in the sanctuary shocked and then alight with pleasure as she spotted me was worth every minute of the trip. It was a great joy.

December 4 – Wonder. How did you cultivate a sense of wonder in your life this year?
We joined the local arboretum as members, which prompted weekly (and often more frequent) trips for walks in the woods and gardens. Witnessing nature changing summer clothes for fall attire was pretty awesome.

December 5 – Let Go. What (or whom) did you let go of this year? Why?
Because of the trauma in our family, I have completely let go of my false sense of security and trust. I'm left feeling profoundly sad and worried, most of the time.

December 6 – Make. What was the last thing you made? What materials did you use? Is there something you want to make, but you need to clear some time for it?
It's too close to Christmas to talk about the very last thing that I made, but I'm very pleased with how much FBC likes the knitted cowl I made last month. It's a yellow-gold and has a reversible cable. It looks nice and she really likes it. Win.

Thinking woman image from here.


Mary Beth said...

Nice. Glad to read you.

Purple said...

As I was reading, I found myself taking in deep breaths...hearing your story.

Thanks for writing.

Jules said...

I found myself wishing I had been a better friend.


Songbird said...

It's a hard year when letting go is not a conscious choice but a reaction to reality. (((j)))

Terri said...

Oh....dear....your year was bit too much like mine....I'm sorry. I have been praying for you all through...and sending you viritual hugs.